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"What do you think I'm gonna do?" he asked.
He tugged the starting cord. Truthfully, if the chainsaw had failed to start after a couple of tries he probably would've lost his courage, but it roared to life on the first attempt.
The bear, apparently not intimidated, scraped its claws yet again. A large triangle-shaped piece of glass fell out and shattered against the floor. More glass followed. It wasn't as if the bear couldn't simply have broken the window any time it wanted, but still, this left Rusty feeling extremely exposed. A guy holding a chainsaw should feel way more powerful than this.
He and Mia backed away as the bear leaned through the window, breaking out most of what remained of the glass. It was too big to squeeze through. At least that's what Rusty kept telling himself. Like the first one, this bear seemed unconcerned about the broken glass on the bottom of the window frame.
The bear continued to climb in. The bedroom window was quite a bit smaller than the living room window, and it was simply not possible that a fully-grown grizzly bear could get through it. Not a chance. Hell, if they were lucky, the bear would get stuck and be completely helpless.
With its head and front legs inside the window...the bear did indeed seem to be stuck!
But Rusty could hear the wood cracking.
The other bear had somehow scooted closer to the bedroom doorway. Not only was it biting at them with its half-face, but it was clawing at them with its mangled front legs. Though the bear was in ghastly shape, it had their exit blocked.
The outdoor bear apparently wasn't stuck stuck, and it leaned most of the way back out of the window. It placed its paws against the window frame. Then it tore out a large chunk of the wood.
No reason to freak out yet. The window frame would naturally be less sturdy than the rest of the wall. Oh, this was certainly bad—very, very bad—but they didn't need to go absolutely batshit with terror quite yet.
Time to make the bear reconsider trying to rip the wall apart.
Rusty wanted to explain to Mia what he was about to do, but she wouldn't be able to hear him over the chainsaw anyway. So he just strode forward, holding the chainsaw in front of him with both hands, and lunged at the bear.
He got it right in the snout, making its nose disintegrate before the bear pulled completely out of the window.
But it didn't leave.
How the hell did that thing take a chainsaw to the snout and not leave? What was wrong with it? Zombie bear or not, why wouldn't it flee back into the woods after that? It took a whirring chainsaw blade right in its face! You ran away after that shit! It was the way of nature! What could possibly have happened in this forest to make the inhabitants not care if their nose got sawed off?
The bear stood back up and placed its paws against the opening again. Then it tore off the rest of the bottom of the window frame.
The opening was still too narrow for the bear to squeeze through, but if it ripped off a couple of planks, that might no longer be the case. If they didn't do something, they'd have to assume that there'd be a murderous bear in the bedroom very soon.
Mia tapped the wall and mimed using the chainsaw.
Yes, they could in theory saw a hole in the wall and pass from Mia's bedroom to Rusty's. But their bedroom doors weren't all that far apart, and if the bear in the living room turned itself around it might end up being just as much of a threat there as it was here. Rusty also wasn't convinced that he could saw his way through the wall before the outside bear widened the window opening enough to join them indoors.
To get out of this, he was going to have to use the chainsaw on a bear instead of the wall. And, of course, when choosing between the two bears, it made sense to go after the one that should by any reasonable standard already be dead.
Its front legs were in hideous shape and it was missing a front jaw. How badly could it hurt him even if it did get in a swipe?
He took a step toward it. Then he glanced over at Mia to see if she was giving him a "What the hell do you think you're doing?" look. Surprisingly, she wasn't. In fact, she'd picked up the shotgun and was holding it by the barrel, as if prepared to use it as a bludgeoning weapon.
He returned his attention to the bear. He didn't want to do this. He really, really didn't want to do this. There was no part of him that wanted to take a chainsaw to a grizzly bear. But he didn't really have a choice, and in fact knew that he should be acting now instead of thinking about how much he didn't want to do this.
He allowed himself to close his eyes for exactly two seconds to work up his nerve, then walked over to the bear, crouched down, and pressed the chainsaw blade against its left leg at the joint. It wasn't hanging on by much after the shotgun blast, and it came loose pretty easily. He pressed the chainsaw against its right leg, which was in better shape but also did not resist the whirring blade. Bits of fur and flesh (but again, no blood) flew up into his face.
Rusty was glad that the chainsaw was too loud for him to hear the bear's reaction. But it violently thrashed around and tried to bite him.
Mia, doing her part, smacked the bear's front legs out of the way with the handle of the shotgun.
Rusty wanted to neatly saw off its head, but the angle wasn't right to get at its neck. Even missing most of its front legs, he felt like the bear could harm him, so he brought the chainsaw blade down against the center of its head, pressing it into its already exposed brain. The bear twitched like it had been hit with a massive jolt of electricity. Rusty kept pushing until the chainsaw hit the floor underneath.
The bear lifted its head. The two halves flopped to separate sides.
He wanted to take a moment to just gape at this, but there was no time.
He did glance back at the other bear, which was in the process of ripping down another plank from the cabin wall. Shit. Couldn't worry about that now. He returned his attention to the bear with the bisected head. It was still moving, flicking scraps of brain matter around. Rusty could hear Mia screaming over the sound of the chainsaw.
At this point, while the thrashing bear posed a threat to Rusty's mental health, it didn't seem to be a physical threat anymore, so he got even closer and slammed the blade against its neck. It was moving around too much for it to be a clean cut, but he got a jagged diagonal slice and the bear's head came off.
Though the bear's head stopped moving—apart from the rolling motion when it hit the floor—the rest of the bear did not.
Sure, this could be similar to the "like a chicken with its head cut off" thing or the way a fish would keep flopping around after its decapitation. But a bear was supposed to cease all movement after its head was removed with a chainsaw. All goddamn movement!
That said, the bear's headless body seemed quite a bit less threatening than the whole bear had been, and Rusty felt much more comfortable with the idea of getting close to it and going absolutely freaking nuts with the chainsaw.
He pressed the blade into the bear's back and began to saw.
It wasn't a tidy dismemberment. The bear was far too large to simply slice it down the middle, so Rusty had to saw off large chunks. After several pieces of the bear were missing, he felt safe enough to squeeze past it so that he could get at its back legs. He cut those off as close to the torso as he could. And with that, the only danger the bear posed was if it rolled over on somebody, and it wasn't rolling very much anymore.
Rusty glanced back at Mia. He expected her to look shocked and horrified by the carnage, and got exactly what he expected.
A more noteworthy sight was that the other bear was trying to climb through the window frame, which now seemed almost large enough to accommodate it. If it had taken the time to rip off one more plank, it would've fit easily, but instead it was squeezing through, and there was little reason to believe that it wouldn't succeed.
Rusty didn't want to fight this bear right now, but he knew that "bear stuck in window frame" was a better opponent than "bear roaming around bedroom." Before he could change his mind, he rushed toward it
, chainsaw roaring.
The bear took a swipe at him. It struck the chainsaw blade, lopping off the top half of its paw even though that hadn't been Rusty's intent. One of its severed digits hit Rusty in the mouth. When the bear let out a roar, Rusty could feel its hot breath on his face; stuck or not, chainsaw or not, this was terrifying. He almost wanted to flee and save the bear for another time.
But no. This was his best chance.
He went for the rest of its thrashing leg, sawing off the entire paw. It swiped at him with its other paw and almost got him. Rusty thrust the chainsaw blade at it, trying to aim higher so as to sever a larger portion of its leg, and got it in the joint. Half of its leg dropped to the floor.
The bear lashed out frantically with what remained of its legs.
It seemed to pose no danger now. It couldn't climb the rest of the way inside with only stumps for front legs, and if it managed to pull itself back outside it wouldn't be any danger unless he walked right up to it. Still, he felt like he should finish it off.
He pressed the blade against its neck and pushed down. About halfway through the process, the chainsaw sputtered, then died.
Rusty grabbed the chainsaw cord.
"Don't," said Mia.
Rusty turned back to look at her. "Why not?"
"This is our proof. Nobody can say we're lying if we've still got the living dead bear right here."
Rusty nodded. "You're right. You should've said something before I started sawing off its head."
"I did. You couldn't hear me."
"You should've tapped me on the shoulder."
"While you were holding a running chainsaw?"
"Good point." Rusty tugged on the chainsaw. It was firmly imbedded in the bear's neck and didn't pop free. "Damn it."
"Do you need help?"
"No, I've got it." Rusty tugged a few more times. "Wow, it's really stuck in there."
The bear let out a roar and made a worthless attempt to attack him.
"Maybe it's cruel not to just put it out of its misery," said Mia. "It's probably in a lot of pain."
"What about our proof?"
"All of a sudden I don't think that proof is worth letting the poor thing suffer."
Rusty stared at the bear for a moment. It did seem to be in a lot of pain, although he would not have referred to it as "the poor thing." It was a homicidal asshole of a bear and deserved its fate.
He pulled the starter cord and the chainsaw roared back to life. He resumed the process of sawing off the bear's head, until the chainsaw sputtered and died again.
Its head lolled forward, but not enough that it would fall off on its own. If they each grabbed a side, Rusty figured that he and Mia could tear it off with some effort, but of course they weren't going to take the risk.
He pulled the cord. Nothing.
Again. Nothing.
"Is it out of gas?" Mia asked.
"Could be." Rusty tried to tug the blade out of the bear's neck. "It's stuck in a bone."
The bear roared. It wasn't as loud of a roar as before, but the chainsaw hadn't reached its vocal cords yet and it still had plenty of volume left.
"The other bear is still moving," said Mia.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. I mean, not much, but it's still twitching. I can get past it, though. Back in a minute."
Without waiting for them to discuss the matter, Mia leapt over the bear pieces in the doorway and hurried off to wherever she was going.
Rusty continued yanking on the cord. He almost felt like he should offer some words of comfort to the creature. "Sorry," he muttered. "I'd hoped for a cleaner cut, but sometimes shit happens."
The bear roared at him. It was moving back and forth; Rusty couldn't tell if it was trying to get inside the cabin or pull itself back out.
He pulled on the cord a couple more times then decided that he was just wasting energy. Hopefully he wouldn't need to conserve energy, but for now he should probably assume that there was much more unpleasantness in store before his next nap.
He noticed that the bear's severed paws were moving on the floor. Though they weren't crawling toward him with hostile intent, it was still an unnerving sight.
There was a clatter from the living room as Mia dropped some stuff onto the floor, and then she leapt over the dismembered bear back into her bedroom. She had their axe.
"Here," she said, handing it to him. "No motor required."
"Thanks."
It wasn't a quick and easy process, especially with the imbedded chainsaw in the way, but finally the bear's head dropped to the floor. Rusty, who felt he'd been admirably brave throughout this ordeal, let out a soft yelp as the head rolled toward his foot.
Mia didn't laugh at him.
Rusty pulled the chainsaw free. The bear was still wedged in the window.
"Fine," he said. "Zombie bears."
CHAPTER TEN
"What do you think could've caused it?" Mia asked.
"Radiation. Contaminated water. Scientific experimentation gone amok. Witchcraft. God. Satan. Lots of possibilities. It doesn't matter. What matters is whether it's a squirrel and two bears or if we've got an entire forest full of undead animals."
"I'm rooting for a squirrel and two bears."
"Me too," said Rusty. "One thing I can say is that we're not walking three miles in the dark without knowing what might be out there. So we need to board these windows up until dawn."
"I already brought in some boards from the shed. We should go right out and get more, and the tools."
Rusty nodded. Mia leapt over the bear with little effort. Rusty was a little more hesitant—not because of his age; he just didn't like the idea of jumping over twitching bear parts. He considered chopping them up some more with the axe first, but he and Mia were kind of in a rush, so he overcame his reluctance, made the leap, and nothing grabbed him. Rusty picked up the flashlight and they climbed out of the front window. He shone the light around and saw nothing unsafe.
The shed was close and they wanted to be able to carry as much as possible, but still, Rusty wasn't willing to put down the axe, even for a few moments and even if it saved them a trip. If he was going to die tonight, he didn't want it to be because he'd been stupid enough to go outside without a weapon.
They made two short trips to the shed, both of which were mercifully uneventful. They brought in two hammers, a large box of nails, a plastic gallon container of gasoline, and plenty of boards. This was far more boards than they'd need to cover the windows, but a lot could happen between now and sunrise. Rusty also retrieved the box of shotgun shells he'd so foolishly left outside.
Rusty and Mia went right to work on the front window. One advantage to their profession was that they were both very good with hammers and nails, and they covered it very quickly, leaving a narrow gap to see through.
Rusty pointed to the bear parts on the floor. "Let's get these out of here before we board up the front door."
He refueled the chainsaw, then began the task of cutting the bear into small enough pieces to move. The chainsaw blade dug into the wood after passing through the bear, but Rusty was past worrying about that sort of thing. There was a crapload of damage to repair, so he might as well mess up a few more floorboards.
When the bear was in sufficiently small chunks, Rusty moved the front door and the couch out of the way. Then he used a broom to move the potentially dangerous pieces—the head and four paws—out the front doorway, onto the porch, and then onto the ground. He handed the broom to Mia so she could continue the process with the smaller pieces while he removed others by (gloved) hand. They were being extremely efficient.
Rusty chuckled.
"What?" Mia asked.
"You're humming while you work."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are." Mia often hummed while she worked. Rusty loved that she kept doing it even when the task was removing the parts of a chainsaw-dismembered bear from their cabin. "Keep at it. It's soothing."
 
; "Well, now I'm self-conscious about it."
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"I'll just switch to something that you'll never get out of your head."
"'It's A Small World After All'?"
"I don't know that song."
Now was not the time to think about Mia's lack of cultural references. "Put your gloves on," Rusty told her. "Time to move the big pieces."
The lack of blood made the task more pleasant than it might have been, but it was still pretty horrifically gross. At least the torso chunks weren't moving around. Rusty and Mia each took a side and, with a few trips, carried the rest of the bear outside and tossed it off the porch.
"Do you think we'd turn into zombies if we ate the meat?" Mia asked.
"Are you asking hypothetically or because you already snuck a piece?"
"Hypothetically."
"I think we'd get sick and die, but I don't think we'd rise from the dead."
They began to board up the door. It was going to be a bitch to pry these off in the morning, but Rusty wanted the cabin to be as secure as possible throughout the night, even if they slept in shifts. (Or, in Rusty's case, possibly never slept again.)
"Can we make a deal?" Mia asked. "If something happens to either one of us, and they come back, the other person will chop them up, no questions asked?"
"Honestly, if I died and came back, I'd rather you tried to reach the small bit of humanity that was still inside of me."
"I'm being serious."
"So am I."
"These animals are more hostile than regular animals, so it stands to reason that we'd be hostile if we came back. If I'm coming after you, I don't want you to try to reason with me. I want you to lop off my head."
"I guess I'd trust you to use your best judgment," said Rusty. "You'd feel bad if you cut off my head and found out later that you just needed to make me think about a fond memory. Anyway, it's irrelevant. We're out of danger."